User blog:Emmatigerlily/Stepping Down...But Staying

Hello everyone.

So…I’m not too sure where to start with this. I’m not sure if any of you care or need to know, but anyway. You may have noticed that I haven’t been around much lately (or maybe you haven’t, I don’t know). I haven’t properly RPd in about two weeks now, and I’ve only been on chat for a couple of short times.

Those of you that stalk my sandbox will have seen why (and thank you, once again, to anyone who messaged me and tried to help). To rest of you I’ll just briefly say that I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected from the people of DARP (both users and characters) for a while, but it got too much during the last couple of weeks. I couldn’t see the point in RPing at all, I was confused at all of the changes and people leaving (both users and characters alike). To avoid a long rant, I was thinking of leaving DARP completely and for many days that was my plan.

But! I’ve decided to try and stay and get back my motivation to RP. I’m not saying that there isn’t still a large part of me that wants to give up and leave, or that this decision will be permanent and that in a months’ time I’ll not find myself in the same place again, but for now I’m going to try.

My plan is:
 * Step down as admin. I’m sorry to anyone that this disappoints, but I haven’t been doing my duties properly for a while now and the wiki deserves someone better as their admin. I don’t know if this will help me get connected to DARP again, but either way, I don’t deserve the job anymore. I’ve enjoyed my time serving as admin and, of course, I’ll always be willing to help anyone that needs it, but I think that it’s better for everyone if someone else replaces me. (I don’t know how I actually step down, but if someone could do that for me or let me know how that would be great).
 * Stop trying to keep up with everything that everyone else is doing as much. Again, sorry if this annoys anyone, but I don’t have time to keep up with all of the new ships and characters and what’s going on in your character’s lives. If you think there’s something I should know then please please tell me, but otherwise please don’t be insulted if I don’t realise that your character is now in a relationship or lost their job or whatever. I don’t have time to keep up with everything, so I’m going to be narrowing my focus quite a lot (even if, for some stupid reason, it’s already annoying me that I’ll miss out on things, I just need to come to terms with that and move on).
 * I’m probably going to be spending less time on the wiki (again, sorry if that upsets anyone). I know, it’s kind of annoying, but I hope that sacrificing a few days and using them to pursue other hobbies and then only coming on DARP a few days a week will keep me interested. I hope though that on the days when I actually come on the wiki I’ll actually be RPing and not just feeling like I’m wasting time doing nothing. I might operate more on a ‘owl me if you need me or want to RP’ kind of thing and only come online on days I know someone actually wants to RP with me, we’ll see.
 * I’m also going to try and pursue my character’s storylines more and make them do more things, instead of just RPing randomly and never feeling like they’re getting anywhere. So I’m going to be focusing on planning some of that in the next couple of days, let me know if you have any ideas or want to be a part of anything.

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on long enough – I still feel like I’m missing loads out though. Again I apologise for my absence recently, I hope you’ll forgive me. I’ve got a gym review and to go to the doctors this afternoon (ugh), so I’ll not be able to come on chat. But I hope I’ll be on chat tomorrow and get back into things again :) Love you all.