User blog:GoldenGail1/The whole debicable

Like a bipolar person, I feel my emontions very much - like really much, so me being suddenly depressed to feeling happy isn't surpising. Nah, I get told I wear my emontions on my sleeves all the time - one moment your faced with a good, happy go lucky version of myself, and the next depression and moodyness. It's something that you quickly learn about me through observations of myself in real life.

Yeah so about it.

I never read the warning, nor the posts on Discord about my apolgy to Lissy. That apolgy was actually - believe it or not, genuine and real, and yeah I did have some selfish reasons for it, but even those are legitmate in hencesite. I think it I wanted it to go away because It was really very stressing me out to the point where I can't really pay attention to classes and stuff because I find myself worrying about it. It's a really big issues in my real life, alongside with having a blistering phone addiction that gives me headaches like you wouldn't believe. I also wrote it because i was genuinely sorry, I have a step father, he's great - he saved my brother and me from a dadless life, where I don't know what kind of a person I'd be right now without him. My birth father spent numerous years of his life locked up in prison in Neveda and one of the reasons we moved to New Zealand was because he was a genuine threat to both me and my brother, Dylan (who one of my characters on here was named after because he's still in New Zealand right now, in college like myself, and I never see him. I miss him, and I thought he deserved a person named after him, because of what a great older brother he is too me.) My birth father also died of drug overdose at the age of 35, shortly after being released from an unknown prison in Neveda, I had not seen him in nearly 11 years since the divorce that ended in my mother, my wonderful and caring mother, getting full custody over us.

I wasn't lying about my parents nearly kicked me out - they nearly did in New Zealand, actually. They told me so themsleves because my addiction to games and such was clouding their relationship. They actually left my laptop at the rental house they were staying at the time - and at one of the rental houses they kicked me to my cousins house where I am now.

I think that I did immensely wrong, in a horrible fashion, but I still have some morality left because I apolgized - meaningfully, and that morality gives me a glimmer of hope. Even though everybody probably thinks I'm the worst due to them seeing my dirty dishwater blabbing history - well believe me, I really did say shit that I probably didn't mean - if people see that as an excuse, It's not, it's an reasonable explation for at least some of my blubbering behavior - I'm not a flawless person, I might be smart, but even smart people do stupid, irrational things like I did. I'm not gonna downplay my behavior, it was crappy. There's a reason why I wait for several months to do things, because I have fears like these, where I'm too irrational and crazy at the time to give a good, cohesive response to things I should've. Like the PM me and Lissy shared, I was in a horrid space, I should've waited before responding to her, I made myself look even worse due to it. Time is a truly precious thing, and I should've waited, for my body to get a grasp on it's own madness.

Yeah a vast portion of what I say is really, truly reality, I would never lie on sitautions like divorces and whatnot. That's ammoral and incorrect behavior and I'd never, ever, fall so lowly to lie about things like this.

Thanks all, I'm sorry for the level A shit storm I caused because of my poor choices on here, it's not fair to any of you and nor to me.