Apollinariya Romanova lost her sense of self a long time ago. You could say she never had it.
Her life has been spent catering to expectations, demands, and commands from the people who call themselves her parents but don't stand up to the role. The only love Apollinariya has ever felt from her parents is cold; that is, cold, hard, cash and coins against her palms. Gifts and presents and holidays can only carry you so far. But she's managed to fool herself into thinking this loveless existence is okay, because she'll never want for anything. Butlers bring her food whenever she wants.
Silently scarred but smiling away, because she has told herself she can't remember the things she has seen in her house. If she remembers them her night terrors will return and she'll find herself feeling guilty. Culpable. Her parents say what they're doing is right, her brother thinks they're right, so...they must be right. Her brain is WRONG and these feelings are STUPID. Put on a smirk and a nice dress and you will be just fine. Materialistic falseties distract her from a deep inherent sadness, a depression, that she carries deep within. So deep that she's nearly forgotten it in her quest to impress.
A false confidence in herself and her family that's so well-trained you'd think she wasn't falling to pieces waiting for someone to love her. Not someone who sees dark things in the middle of the night and has to fool herself every waking moment. She just needs somebody to reawaken her doubt, her capacity to care about people, and Miss Fire and Ice might actually care about someone. Her self-confidence is because she feels like the worst. Secretly she is so many things that her parents have told her is wrong.
She is perfect. She is her family's daughter. She has to be or they will cast her out.
On the outside she's shallow and that doesn't show the canyon within. A constant conflict, a storm brewing inside with herself, and the only way she can unleash this is against others. Which, it so happens, happens to ally with the uncaring rich-bitch attitude she was trained in and learned from her mother. She'll do anything for anyone if she can come up with something that they've given her in return. The selfsame desire to control people lives deep in Apollinariya's bones, but truly, the one person she wants to control is the one person she cannot.
Because she has sold herself to them.
Apollinariya Romanova is one of the 'Romanov dynasty', a Russian blood-supremacist family headed by matriarch and patriarch Roman Romanov (hehe) and Svetlana Romanova (nee Talnika, anglicised as Willow). Svetlana believed her family were far too liberal with their views on creatures' rights, and thus abandoned her past family and joined a new one that more suited her, by marrying Roman - she has never once met her seventeen nieces and nephews by her sister Anzhelika, although they both know plenty about the Romanov clan and would anyways want to keep their distance.
Her older brother has always been her greatest inspiration. From a young age they were taught the values of pure blood and to be wary of those who masqueraded as human but were not. A child raised like that was bound to be prejudiced, as well as the fact they were kept from Muggle and non pure-blood society in the Romanovs' mansion in a secluded, remote part of Russia. While they had major connections in the cities, their seclusion was to ensure they could get away with some of their more immoral endeavors.
Roman and Svetlana were some of the least law-abiding people you could meet. Your stereotypical rich family with connections that tries to manipulate and henceforth control everyone and everything around them and felt insecure if they couldn't control somebody. (So insecure, in fact, that they'd usually dispose of them.) Bribery with money, money laundering, you name it, the shady family had done it. But it made Apollinariya a rich girl, and she basically had everything she desired, so she couldn't complain.
She had been raised socialising with "the right people." She's been arranged to another Russian aristocrat family since she was born, too. Glassy manners to those who were friends or could benefit her, straight-up angel of darkness manipulative mean girl to those who could not. Her first magical sign came when she was three years old; she was always perfect, her parents' darling little girl, who grew up as she lived. Letting her parents do whatever they wanted as she, as a good girl should, turned a blind eye.
The girl has seen things. But she has trained herself not to see. Not to care. Not to be affected because if she was affected, this nightmarish reality would tear her to shreds from the inside.
Apollinariya was happy attending Koldovstvoretz. A good school with a good, appropriate circle of friends. Everything was fine until about a year ago, when she came along. Someone it seemed Apollinariya had been born to resent, the girl she would have to call 'Tatyana'.
She didn't belong in this family and Apollinariya was going to make sure she knew it - interrupting the livelihood she had with her older brother. Of course she knew who the girl was, she had to know, her parents couldn't hide it from her when they explained why Apollinariya would have to move to England. To England where a werewolf was in power and their creature-loving cousins lived. Needless to say she was not impressed, and she took out her bitterness on 'Taty.'
Apollinariya believes - no, knows - she is better than Hogwarts' mixed bunch. Because her "sister" was some kind of freak genius, they've ended up in the same year despite the other girl being her junior, something she resents. She has a talent for Quidditch - but that's not so becoming of a lady, is it? Her enjoyment of flying is one of her great secrets, but, being a Romanov, it is by no means her darkest.
"too many hard times, too much to think about, i am the eye watching over you."
"so let it roll like a new born soul. let it roll, let it roll, let it roll like a new born soul."