She had some news she wasn't sure how Eric would take and things had been a bit tense between them since the fight so she got home a little early to prepare things. She'd get dinner going then shower and change into a nice blouse, short skirt, and heels she knew Eric liked. She'd be getting the table set with the fresh salmon, corn on the cob, broccoli, and a fruity wine to go with it just about the time she thought he'd be getting home.
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 01:03, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
He walked in and looked at the nice dinner, and Melinda all dressed up. "Did I miss the black tie memo?" He asked walking in. "You look lovely."
"Well part of it is that it would be two to three weeks. Days...are harder to track on that sort of trip so the range is the best I can give. The other part is..." She'd pause "...I feel like things have been sort of...tense between us and I don't want to leave with things like that between us and...let them get worse?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 17:37, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
He'd also felt the tension, and felt like he'd been walking on eggshells around her lately. "Okay." He paused. "So... do you have ideas on how to fix that?"
She'd give her head a little shake. "I...wasn't trying to frustrate you or tell you your answer was wrong. I thought I was trying to...help you through the thought process of figuring out what to do. Just...facilitate not lead you one way or the other."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 18:19, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
He frowned. "I told you I didn't want to several times, Melinda. I said it was too risky and that it wasn't a good idea. You didn't respect my answer."
She'd frown her voice unsure. "You said it was risky but I didn't realize that was you deciding not to do it. I thought you were just...stating an additional fact to consider in the decision while working through it. It might be risky...but I still think I should do this or...it might be risky...so I don't want to do it. I thought..." She'd shake her head. "I guess I didn't realize you were saying you didn't want to with that statement."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 18:27, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
He frowned. "Okay." He paused, wanting to argue the point further. He took a moment to consider his words. "Then next time... make that clearer, so I can clearer. You just... kept repeating yourself and that didn't feel like you were trying to... help me to a decision that in my mind was already made. That felt like you were trying to... beat me down until I agreed to go looking for him."
She'd shake her head. "I wouldn't do that. I feel like If I wanted you to do it I would just come out and say...I think you should do it. Not try to subtly tell you I think you're wrong." She'd pause. "I don't really remember but I think I was just repeating why I was bringing it up to try to...make a statement that I was neutral. I wasn't bringing it up to try to make you do it or...because I thought you shouldn't do it just so it...didn't get forgotten."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 18:36, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
"If I wanted to do it... what makes you think I'd forget something like that?" he asked.
She'd shrug. "I don't know...life has been busy lately and maybe if you were undecided a reminder could help you one way or the other." She'd pause. "I guess I just thought if we wanted to see if your brother wanted to be part of our lives doing it now might be the best time since it will probably get harder with more time?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 18:43, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
He still believed that she thought doing it was the right choice... and he still felt like it wasn't a good idea. "I suppose I see what you're saying. But no," he said, hoping to be clear. "I don't want to find him."
She'd frown trying to choose her words carefully. He said he wasn't angry which...just seemed like a straight up lie to her. "I mean...you were yelling and I kept telling you I didn't want to fight with you over what seemed like a misunderstanding but it didn't seem like you would accept that and you kept pushing." She'd pause. "I think...you telling me I was like your family was when I realized you weren't really...thinking I guess? Or so angry you didn't care? I think that was when I figured your anger was...more than just irritation."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 19:03, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
"I felt like I wasn't being heard. I felt that I had been clear with my words... obviously I know now that wasn't the case. But in the moment, I felt like I was being clear and all I kept getting from you was, what I felt like, was a questioning response. I didn't understand what it was that you didn't understand, so I made an extreme leap. I felt like I was being berated into giving only a singular answer that I didn't want to give.... which is sort of a softer version of what my parents would do. So I made the leap hoping you'd see where my frustration was coming from, and that you'd back off."
She'd frown. "I don't...understand. What leap? I had already backed off and was trying to let things rest so I don't understand what you were...trying to do other than just hurling hurtful words because you were angry. You said I was like your parents Eric and that hurt...I feel like you said it so you must believe it in some way?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 19:14, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
He gave her a look. "Melinda, you kept on and on and on about I didn't want you to forget and it was like you had no idea that you were making me frustrated. You claimed you didn't have ulterior motives, which was hard to believe because you kept harping on the same line. Since it seemed like you didn't understand that I was upset that you wouldn't be truthful with me, I tried to show you what you were doing by comparing it to an extreme."
She'd frown her voice still calm but a bit more blunt. "Eric...I was being completely truthful with you and I don't understand why you think I'd lie to you. I don't want to re-hash the fight since I think we've gone through it but you were angry. You compared me to how your parents ignored what you wanted in favor of their own agenda. You point blank said that what you thought I was doing was the same things your parents did to you. That's not comparing it to an extreme when you literally thought I was doing the exact thing your parents did."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 19:26, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
"I didn't think you were being truthful, Melinda," he said, giving her an even gaze. "And all I was doing was trying to get you to admit that you did want me to agree to finding my brother. I thought the shock value of the statement would force you to admit your agenda."
She'd look appalled. "That's...not right Eric. Have I ever lied to you or tried to make you do something I thought you should if you didn't want to? That's not who I am so I don't understand why you would think that's what I was doing unless you do think that's who I am. Saying horrible things to try to...shock someone into telling you the truth isn't...even remotely appropriate in any circumstance much less with someone you care about." She'd pause. "You can see that...right?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 19:35, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
His eyes narrowed. "No, you haven't. So I didn't understand why you would do it now. But all the evidence I had before me was that you were hiding something from me, Melinda. And that's not okay, either."
She'd frown in confusion. "What's not ok Eric? That you thought I was trying to lie or mislead you?" She'd pause. "So regardless of what evidence you thought you had you couldn't just trust me or instead of trying to shock the truth out of me just...ask?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 20:00, August 2, 2019 (UTC)
"I DID ASK!" He said, now angry. "Twice I asked you why you were asking, and twice you repeated your same damn line, Melinda. You didn't give me a different answer. Stop pretending you're an innocent princess who can do no wrong. I already apologized twice for comparing you to my parents. I know that was wrong."
Now he was just throwing out baseless accusations and she refused to be baited. She'd let out an aggravated sigh that bordered on a growl. "What do you want from me Eric?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 00:55, August 3, 2019 (UTC)
"I want you to at least try to see it from my perspective." He paused. He knew in this moment that they had reached make or break. His tone shifted slightly. It wasn't mean or angry. Defeated... resigned, perhaps. "I feel like you're making me out to be an angry, deranged... monster who snapped at you in a way that wasn't necessary. When in that moment I felt like I was being cornered. So what is it you need from me?"
She'd come to the conclusion that depending on what they said next they'd be broken up or...still have a lot of work to do. She'd give a little nod to indicate she'd heard how he felt. "I feel like you're making me out to be a child who never takes responsibility for anything and goes around behind your back trying to manipulate and control your life." She'd pause. "I need you to..." She wasn't sure how to sum it up. "...try to understand how what you've been saying has been making me feel."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 03:50, August 3, 2019 (UTC)
He nodded in return. "And... how it's made you feel is... that I'm making you out to be something you feel you aren't?" He asked in a calm voice. He paused. The irony was right there. "Sounds... quite a bit like what I also said and felt. Seems that we both... may have been blown out of proportion since we both feel we've been turned into something contradictory to how we feel about ourselves."
She'd shake her head. "I...don't know. I mean I brought everything back up thinking we could...work through it and try to figure out what happened but that just...blew up. I'm worried about it happening again but if we can't even try to...talk through and figure out the disconnect we had I don't know how to...help make sure it doesn't happen?" She'd frown slightly. "Does that...make sense?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 15:15, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
He frowned. "I thought the disconnect was we didn't like being made out to things that we aren't. Was there something more for you?"
She'd frown. "I'm...less worried about the actual misunderstanding and more concerned about the anger, yelling, and fighting that resulted. We both made mistakes but I don't want this to be the result every time we...have a misunderstanding so I guess I'm trying to figure out how to keep it from getting so...explosive next time?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 15:21, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
"It would seem that... we'll have to keep ourselves in check when we're feeling a disagreement start. Perhaps... take some space earlier to breathe so things don't escalate like they did?"
She'd nod. "That seems like a good idea." She'd pause. "What do you think about maybe...trying to find someone to talk to and see if they can...help us resolve some of our problems as a couple?"
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 15:25, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
He nodded. "An outside individual who's impartial is probably a good idea... did you want to start seeing one... right away or just... when we're fighting?" He paused. "I guess... aside from all this... I didn't think we had a lot of problems as a couple."
She'd nod. "I didn't either but I guess part of me worries this might be part of a deeper issue and...from a pragmatic viewpoint it seems to make sense to make sure?" She'd pause. "I know lots of couple do some sort of pre-marital counseling so I don't think it's an uncommon thing."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 15:31, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
He nodded. "I'm fine with it." He looked at her earnestly. "I don't want to throw in the towel with you."
She'd let out a deep breath half between resignation and half between relief. "I don't want to throw in the towel either but I also want to make sure our marriage isn't just us angry and yelling at one another all the time."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 15:36, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
"I understand," he said nodding. "And I said that I'm fine with going to see a counselor."
It took her a moment to work though what he was saying. "Yeah, maybe..." She'd pause not sure how comfortable she was telling Charity about the issue. Faith could probably relate more. "I think Faith did something for the hospital too at one point so it might just be easier to ask her."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 15:50, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
He nodded. "So we'll start there and if she doesn't have any recommendations... we'll figure out what to do."
She'd pause before answering. "I...think you love me." She'd tap her head with her free hand. "...but right now I don't feel like you love me." She'd tap her heart. "So...I'm working on trying to reconcile what I feel and know." She'd pause. "I love you too."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 17:04, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
That crushed him, and the devastation was all over his face. "What... can I do?"
His obvious pain made her feel horrible...like she'd punched a baby Kneazle. She half wished she'd just lied about it but she'd told the truth which was better...right? Her voice would be mush quieter than it normally was and very unsure. "I...don't know. I think maybe it's just giving time to let things...heal?" She'd pause. "I'm just feeling hurt and confused. Just let me work through everything. I know you love my but right now I've just exhausted and emotionally spent."
Eric SelwynRavenclaw Alumnus -Jack of all trades... Master of none – 17:18, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
He nodded numbly. "If you want... I can go sleep on a work friend's couch or something...."