this is why i have no friends.exe

this is why i have no friends.exe

- ̗̀ caspian choi ̖́-
- ̗̀ this is why i have no friends ̖́-
this is wh...


catch you in my closet

caspian choi

this is why i have no friends.exe

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1) What was your first incident of magic and how old were you?

i've always been a very... eccentric? eccentric kid? is that the word, i dunno. but, i've been told whenever i do things i'm always somewhat over the top. my first incident of magic couldn't have been more over the top. it was kind of ridiculous. we lived in ghana at the time, and it was like boiling hot (it was a december, the heat hits so hard in the winter, it's ridiculous), and i'm like, seven so... i played 'the floor is lava' in my living room like a normal seven-year-old kid. except i didn't realize the lava was real until my dad came into and yelped at the doorway in surprise. lost a whole tray of cookies to lava. a whole tray.

2) Do you believe in love at first sight?

at some point in my life? i did, yeah. now i don't really know. i honestly have way too much going on to be thinking about if love at first sight exists. i don't think i've had a relationship in at least a few years? my life has just been on hyper speed ever since i graduated. and you could ask me, 'well, you were in school when you're career started—what changed?' and i will tell you everything, everything changed. the moment i had more time to focus on my music career, silencio went like hardcore with the promotion and production. i remember releasing my like... fourth album? and it was everywhere within twenty-four hours. literally an interview every single night. for a whole week, i was just on late night show after late night show after late night show. that kind of schedule obviously does something to a person's ability to manage a relationship. in my case, made it nearly physically impossible. so i stopped trying. and stopped trying to look for love on top of that.

3) Have you ever been in love? If so, with who? If not, do you want to be in love?

do you want the long version of this or the short version? because i can give you both if you really want it. i've been told i ramble sometimes, so we'll go with the short version. yes, definitely, absolutely, all the time. the amount of crushes i've had in a single year, sometimes at the same time? a little insane. and when i say crushes, i don't mean like shallow, few weeks to a month crushes, i mean like i want to date you for five years and then marry you on a whim so we can grow old together. my mom always told me i love a little too hard, which i never really thought was possible. but considering the amount of times i've broken my own heart with a reality check—maybe she was right.

4) How do you want to be remembered by the people around you?

wow, this is a loaded question. technically, i don't really have to worry about it considering i'm quite literally one of the biggest popstars of this decade? and that'll definitely go in the records somewhere for the sheer amount of records i've broken in like... six years. but still, i guess i just want to remembered as a nice guy. like—okay, yes, i'm caspian choi. that's what most people fixate on, but unless you know me personally, it's just like... that's all i am to most people i meet. i'm caspian choi, the international superstar! nice to meet you. but overall i just want to be remembered as a nice, friendly guy who talks a little too much and loves a little too hard.

5) What is one activity that helps wind you down? Alternatively, what is one activity that does the opposite to you? Is there more than one, if so-what?

i mentioned right after graduating, i lost the time to really do anything for myself. and that kind of reigns true for hobbies, except i literally get to make music for a living and i love music with my whole being. the most calming thing is when you just find the perfect chord for the bridge of a song, or when the instrumental you're producing just comes together. i love it. making music just winds me down like nothing else. it's well, obviously, my favorite part of the whole job. sitting in the studio, playing with buttons and beats and sharing ideas and trying out melodies? i'd do that even after i retired. er... in terms of the opposite? i'm not gonna lie, i don't really know. a lot of people have told me even though i'm very energetic and all over the place, but also kind of chill in that way that nothing really bothers me, you know? there's very few things i can think of that really do the opposite to me. maybe waking up early? i hate mornings with every atom of my body, i've always been a night owl, and on top of it, i just... i'm really lazy. and i sleep a lot when i can. so... waking up early, not the vibe.

6) What were you like growing up?

i feel like this would be a better question for my parents. not that i can't answer it's just... i can only do so much justice to my younger self, i guess. growing up, there's always been some things that continue to stay true with me even as an adult, and there are other aspects of myself i dropped when there was no suitable way to incorporate them into my reality. like i've always been very hyper, even as a kid. maybe now not so much the bouncing-off-the-walls hyper, but the energy is there. you can mostly notice it when i talk because i talk a lot and i talk very fast—kind of a problem i've had to deal with in interviews. i try my best. my younger self was also very... optimistic. i don't think that has changed very much but i'm also a tad more realistic than i used to be. one thing that's completely changed from when i was younger is that i used to be a lot happier. the life of a celebrity is a difficult one to live, and it's taken its own toll on me. when i was younger, i genuinely didn't expect to end up being diagnosed with high-functioning depression (or persistent depressive disorder, take your pick) a couple years down the line, but uh... here we are.

7) If you’re not native to the UK, where were you born and how did you end up in the UK?

i'm an la baby. yeah, yeah, flame me. i was practically destined to be successful. my parents moved around a lot. it started out when i was five. we'd live in countries all over the world. south korea, ghana, nigeria, south africa, italy, greece, the list goes on and on. my parents wanted to see the world and i kind just like... tagged along because i literally had no other choice because i was a kid. i can't remember what country it was, france probably? but i got scouted by a silencio records agent while singing on the streets. came in the following summer, trained for a little and then, my first ep was out. kind of wild, don't you think? it feels like it happened so quick too. can't believe it's been six years. but uh, i moved to the uk so silencio could manage me better and finished schooling at hogwarts. and silencio's headquarters is in the uk, so i've just kind of been here ever since.

8) Would you rather have endless money or endless amount of love? why?

well, first of all, i don't think you can measure love but okay. even then, i'd say love because well... i'm a millionaire. i don't need more money for anything. my annual income is somewhere around like seventy five million galleons a year? i made the majority of silencio's income for like two years. point is, what in the world would i do with endless money? i don't even know what to do with what i have now even with regular donations to charities and foundations. so, yeah, endless amounts of love. so everyone, no matter where they are can feel loved. everyone needs a little bit of love, no matter who you are or what you've been through. people are human, we crave love and affection. you'd be surprised how the lack of that can really change a person.

9) What are people’s usual first impressions of you? Are they correct?

depends... on who you talk to, how you met me, and when you met me. right now, most people's only impression of me is "wow! it's capian choi, the world wide star!" and that is all. i mean, i can't really blame them. but that's not the only thing to me. people who don't care about that typically get the idea that i'm just overly-enthusiastic but in like a chill, lazy way. which is all fine and good—because it's true. lots of other people think of one of those people who's always moving and stuff because i've always been really fidgety? even when i was a kid. sitting still wasn't my strong suit. i can't believe the amount of professors i've probably pissed off over the years with my incessant fidgeting. but honestly, i assure you i'm too lazy for that. the most movement i do willingly is to travel places, and the bare minimum training i have to do to keep up the build for dancing, and that is all. catch me any other time, i'll be in my bed or curled up in a blanket in my closet with my laptop.

10) When was the last time you cried?

man, you guys are mind readers out here, aren't you? well... last night. no, last evening. i honestly don't remember what it was over. but i was laying on the couch, and all of a sudden, i just kind of break down and curl into a ball and cry. and i did that for an hour or two. then i moped my way to my bed and cried myself to sleep. so i guess both answers are right? i don't know why this is such a difficult question to answer, lol. i guess it's just because i don't really talk about my depression very much. i've mentioned it a few times here and there, but it's weird to acknowledge in front of other people that aren't family, close friends, or my therapist. especially because it's not very... noticeable, i guess? well, yeah, duh, that's how high-functioning depression presents itself but like—when you think depression, most people don't think me. it's honestly kind of amusing the amount of people who genuinely get surprised when i tell them i have high-functioning depression.

11) How do you treat the people around you?

the best i can. i mentioned it earlier but i think everyone deserves a chance to be loved and cared for, so whoever i meet, whoever i talk to, i treat them like they're my best friend, even if i just met them five seconds ago and we're standing in line at the grocery store. i think it's our responsibility as human beings to look out for other people. so, that's what i do. i think... i think i've kind of chilled on it as of late. i had a whole shutdown like a year or two ago because i expended so much of myself to other people instead of focusing on myself. that's actually when i got diagnosed, funny enough. went to luciano like a week after my complete break down and was like "i think there's something wrong me". three hours and a long, actually very interesting discussion, later, diagnosed with high-functioning depression. so, with that in mind, i've spent a lot more time trying to find a balance between myself and paying attention to other people because if i don't—well, you saw.

12) Do you believe people can be given a second chance?

pssssh, have you met me? i don't have a single bone of vengeance in my body. i'm terrible at holding grudges, and i can barely stay upset at someone for longer than a week. i'll give you a second chance, a second chance for that chance, and a second chance for that chance. i've always been a very forgiving person. after all, there is no time limit to change. some people take a long time to realize what they're doing wrong and change, some people take a short time to do the same thing. we're all different. as long as i see the effort, i'll give you all the chances you need. hell knows i need second chances on things too. so why would i not give them out?

13) What do you think it means to be human?

you're going to have me parroting myself at this point. if i mention love again, you have full permission to kick me out and end the interview here. but um, yeah. that's what i think it means to be human. love and bond and form connections with people. if you can't form connections with things, i'd genuinely be concerned. like, no matter who you are, there's always something you can form a connection with. doesn't matter what ailment you have or what's happened in your life. psychopaths still have people they care about, depressed people still have pets. to be human is to connect. we're a social species. have you ever met a mentally and emotionally healthy person who's been cut off from society for years? if you have, introduce me to them because i genuinely doubt they exist.

14) How do you behave in a romantic relationship? If you’ve never been in one before, how do you think you’d behave?

it's like you want me to go a ramble about my relationships. wait, that's the question. oh. haha, wow, okay. er, i mean, i'm not gonna lie. i don't really know. i haven't had a relationship in like... two or three years? and i've changed a lot in those years, so i honestly don't really know. it'd be an interesting concept to explore? i just made it sound like i was talking about writing a song. wow, okay, maybe this is the reason why i haven't dated anyone in awhile. i guess, if i were to think about... my greatest fear is loneliness, which is amusing considering how much time i spend by myself. i've gotten more independent than i used to be, and considering i literally need the space or else i might shut down—i'd probably leave a little more space in the relationship than i used to. i'd keep my phone nearby but not check it constantly. my partner wouldn't get random check-ins at three am unless i was dying, contemplating the universe, or found a funny flootube video. i'd give myself more credit and worry less about every single thing i could possibly be doing wrong. stuff like that.

15) What can usually be found in your fridge?

ahaha, depends on what month it is. most of the time, i cook my own food, so there's a variety of stuff in my fridge. but i recently, like really recently picked up baking while on hiatus and turns out, i'm better at it then i was when i was in school. so now there's a bunch of like cakes and deserts in my fridge alongside the other tons of stuff in there. i honestly end up giving food away to neighbors or employees at silencio because i make way too much for one person. i go a little overboard sometimes when i forget i'm the only one that lives in my apartment. you know what's always in stock in my fridge regardless of the time? ice cream. it's great for so many things you know? celebrations, movie marathons, breakdowns. it's like an all-event treat.

16) What’s your education history? Do you enjoy learning and the way Hogwarts is taught?

i've been to a lot of different institutions. uaagadou is the first magic school i went to, and then i went to beauxbatons. i really, really, really briefly went to durmstrang for like a month before i transferred to hogwarts and graduated there. mm... i enjoyed hogwarts well enough but did hogwarts enjoy me? i don't think so. i was one of those like obnoxiously smart kids who still asked a ton of questions and was always fidgeting in the classroom and making a commotion. like... i was this weird fusion of class clown and the golden boy, and i'm sure it got on my professors' nerves like nothing else. i literally saw some professors flinch when i entered the classroom. if that doesn't say, "yikes, he's back", i don't know what does. one thing i never really got is the house system. lowkey doesn't make sense at all to me, especially when i had been so used to just rooming with anyone in my year and gender. but uh... turns out, you can't room with other houses. quite a rude awakening.

17) Do you have any mental or physical afflictions?

i mentioned it a couple times already but i have high-functioning depression or persistent depressive disorder (PDD). you think it's self explanatory but i've actually gotten a lot of people who confuse it for major depression. high-functioning depression is the presence of depression in a "high-functioning" person, which basically means you can't see it, but it's there. i got diagnosed... two years ago? somewhere around that time, after this really bad breakdown i had that lasted like three to four weeks. if i ignore it, it gets really bad and i'll get like these major depressive episodes. but for the most part, i live. i function. i guess besides that i'll have the occasional anxiety attack? but that's more from crazy fans than anything else.

18) Do you think you're prejudiced or have a certain bias?

i hope not, lol. but to be honest, everyone has a little bias to them so i probably do, i just don't have any idea what it is. i've always tried to be an open-minded person and be supportive towards people, regardless of whatever they are, but sometimes, you just have to be a little wary, even if you don't mean to come off as judgmental. like i'm not gonna lie and say i wouldn't be a little biased if i was talking to a convicted felon or something like that, but i'm not gonna let my bias change how i treat them.

19) Are you happy with the path that you've found yourself on? How would you change it if you could?

sure, i guess. i do what i like to do for a living. i meet new people all the time. i connect with fans. i dunno. i can't really think of anything i'd want to change because i'm in the best position i've ever been in my life. but like... that doesn't say much because i haven't struggled nearly as much as other people i know. i'm just lucky my life has gone... so well, i guess. maybe i'd like to have to have someone to share it with, i dunno know. this life gets a little lonely after awhile, despite the sheer about of people i have in my contact list and talk to on a daily basis. maybe i kind of want a break? like... a break from being caspian choi for a bit. it's honestly a little exhausting sometimes. especially when it's all people see. i am a person outside of what i do, believe it or not. but no one really thinks about that. oh well, nothing to complain about now.

20) How's your financial situation? What's your main income? Do you rely on anyone? Do you want to rely on them or be more independent?

ahahahah, please don't ask me that. it's honestly gets tiring talking about numbers. i was in a meeting yesterday, and i thought my eyes were going to fall out of my sockets from how long i had to look at that powerpoint on sales and quotas we'd be hoping to hit next quarter. my financial situation is obviously fine, like... i don't think i can't not have a good financial situation considering where i am. my main income is... my job. as an international popstar. i swear we covered this already. sorry, im getting sarcastic and snappy. i just... really need a nap.
this is why i have...

full name
caspian taeji choi
cas, whatever u want
april 9th
la, california, usa
dibbed; alive
silencio artist
ravenclaw alumni
family blood
wand core
unicorn hair
wand wood
park jaehyung
eye color
hair color
6'0" (182 cm)
depressive episodes
favorite color
favorite music genre
pop, rock, r&b
favorite food
favorite animal
favorite drink
mint oreo milkshakes
favorite song
'villain' by stella jang
favorite movie
sound of music
favorite sweets
jelly beans, swedish fish
songwriting, various other things
english, korean, french, italian, spanish, some african tribal languages
kim sua
james choi
other relative(s)
aunts: oh sujeong, ophelia lee
uncles: choi jiseok, jack choi
cousins: malakhai, aisha, sasha

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