- < > = Whisper
- ( ) = Actions heard
This is an audio recording of one Remus M. Gray. It's most likely the ramblings of an over-active imagination so please do not be alarmed by the peculiar events that he describes.
(Static is heard. Then, a male voice is heard, clearing his throat before beginning.) Once upon a time...is what I would say if I wanted to be super cheesy and cliché. And if this was just some figment of some crazy person's imagination. Which it isn't. What I'm about to share with you is a very true story. You might think that I'm crazy when I'm done. Or you might understand where I'm coming from. If you are, please don't obliviate me or my family. And PLEASE don't take away my wand. I was only hoping to share my story. (a small cough is heard) Anyways, my name is Remus Gray or Remus or Gray. It honestly depends on who you are and what you think of me. You see, the reason why I started this audio recording with the infamous 'once upon a time' is because that is how everybody's story starts. However, my story doesn't have the main character as some beautiful princess pining away for her 'knight in shining armor'. Mine starts with online dating.
A young girl was just fresh out of high school and the colleges where clammering for her to attend. One school really caught her eye, Boston University. They offered a full ride scholarship that included, her own bassoon and an internship with the Boston Pops. Seems great, right? The only downside? Her mom stopped her from attending. That's when one of her friends showed her some dating website. Meanwhile, a man who was just getting used to the adult life, decided to try out some dating website his friend recommended. Both young adults figured there wasn't any harm in trying it out. One of the best decisions they've ever made, to be honest with you.
By some turn of fate, they started talking and meeting up. He came to Arizona to meet her and she went to Ohio to meet him. After six months of this, he popped the question. A bit too soon in my opinion but I can't complain. A year of engagement later, they were lawfully wedded husband and wife. Soon after that, they were expecting a little boy. After months and months of searching for names, they decided on the two weirdest names to be put together. Remus Mikaela Gray. Don't ask me what was going on through there heads cause I honestly don't know.
Now if you haven't figured it out yet, that kid was me.
I'd love to say that I was the perfect little angel that could have ever graced the earth but then I'd be lying. I was a little demon if I'm going to be honest with you. I drew on the walls, temper tamptrums in the middle of the store, destroying books < rest in pieces Nancy Drew > and a ton of other things that would stress out any parent. Luckily, I had the most patient mom in the whole universe. My dad...well, let's just say he wasn't around that much to help out. Let's just say I grew up to be a bit of a Momma's boy. Not really surprising now is it? This is where my life takes a very weird turn.
Now before I start explaining, I have to ask you, do you believe in magic? You know, witches and wizards, wands and staves, dragons and unicorns? The stuff out of a fantasy novel? Now if you don't, I'd suggest you stop this recording and leave. Why? Well simple, cause it's real. (The sound of a chair being leaned back into is heard.) You're probably thinking I'm crazy. That I'm delisional. That I had one to many beers. First off, I'm only slightly crazy. Second off, I don't drink so I'm not intoxicated. If your still listening at this point, I have to warn you, that if you don't have any magic, guard this secret with your life. Otherwise, you might just end up waking up one day with no recollection of ever listening to this. Or to the rest of this.
Right well, back to my story. Strange things started to happen around me. Like unwashable or vanishing crayon marks on the walls, exploding food when I thought it smelled gross or the occasional lights-flickering during a crying session. HEY. Don't judge me! A man can cry! (Throat clearing is heard once again) Anyways, my mom, being the incredibly observant and smart woman that she is, figured, "hey. This isn't a coincidence. After all, these brown outs only happen in our apartment when he's throwing a temper tamtrum, crayons don't vanish off the wall and/or don't wash off and food just doesn't spontaneously explode. I think we might have a male Matilda on our hands." ... Okay so maybe she didn't exactly think like that but the point is still there. The only problem, she couldn't figure out how to help. She wanted to raise me right, not as some spoiled rotten brat. Which, if your listenin' to this Ma, thanks for not raisin' me to be a prick.
So up until I was eleven, strange things just always happened around me. Of course, they dwindled down to rare occurrances when I discovered my love of music and writing. Which of course, my mother encouraged. I also got into RPGs, which ironically enough, my dad encouraged. Things were great, I moved around from place to place. Making friends here and there while losing touch and eventually forgetting their names. That is, except for one. Melinda Harrison. She was my best friend. We got into all sorts of shenanigans and she wasn't at all freaked out with my weirdness. However, my dad lost his job for six months then finally moving us to England where he got an offer. I lost contact with Mel after that.
Once there, I turned eleven and almost as if by some weird twist of fate, I got a letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. By owl no less. Which, of course, made my parents believe it. After all, what kind of scam artist uses owl-power to deliver mail? That's right. None
. So, naturally, they took me to this Diagon Alley place to buy my things < luckily for us my dad got his paycheck that week >. I even got a Bombay named Hades. He's a loveable little thing.